Root by Jones Ayuwo
The people where like giants and our twelve spies; ants!
The spies’ mission went sour and they were almost
captured.
Ten managed to escape to our lovely desert camps;
enraptured!
The other two made themselves scarce, to the
inconvenience of a woman
Who hid them in the roof of her house and lied to save their
hides.
By and by, our brave woman married one spy and another
gentile woman
Married the other spy…oh the dreadful tides!!!
It so happened that our promiscuous spies both died, and at
the same time too.
Their distraught mother (for they were brethren) decided to
return home.
But the woman who had first hid them made bid to return
with her
But Old Childless Mother said “turn away my daughters for
thou hast seen I have
No sons and am too old and ugly to attract a man, for
surely any man attracted to
Me in this state must darn well be impotent or desperate!”
The second saw reason and turned back home to her shows
for her name was Orpah Winfey.
The one who had first hid the spies refused and said (with
courageous theme playing in
The background) “intreat me not to turn aside, for wither
thou goest, I will go and wither
Thou lodgest I shall be thine squatter and where thou diest I
shall be present for the wake keep!”
When she saw that her determination was deeply ruthed,
Old Childless Widow sayest unto her;
“Damn, why the hell not!”
So it came to pass that Ruth came to dwell with us, the
chosen people.
But she was an outright lazy pile of bones, what with all the
sitting all day under palm trees
And gisting and gossiping with passersby. Well some folk
thought she was a prophet
His name was Barak Oboma, he was dark and handsome
and he was our leader.
She made him start a war with the people in the East whose
military was whispered
In dark places to be to be “The Talibansers” but that is a
tale for another day.
Here ends the unnecessarily protracted and adjusted story
of Root: the harlot turn
Wife turn widow turn immigrant turned prophet.
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